Sexual Behavior and Asperger Syndrome

Sexual behavior and Asperger Syndrome is often an awkward and difficult subject to address. Especially in the culture of the United States, sex education is a volatile topic, with many differing opinions about when (or even whether) it is appropriate to explain to youth the intricate biological and social aspects of sexuality. Even for those who agree it is necessary, trying to come up with a comprehensive and non-offensive curriculum is even more difficult.

Special issues for autistic teens

Some schools have chosen the reasonable approach that it is purely a parental responsibility, and do not have anything other than the most platonic biological information about sexuality in their schools. Unfortunately, most parents are also part of that Puritanical culture, and procrastinate, avoid, and dance around the subject, leaving their adolescent children to find out about sexuality themselves. Since this is often the way the parents themselves learned about sexuality, it might be considered a viable strategy.

Whatever the choice, the fact is that biologically children both with and without Asperger do not wait for the appropriate information to be given to them. Their bodies and hormones change whenever the hormones kick in, and much of Western entertainment revolves around the dramas that ensue during this time of life. Learning to balance their physical feelings and desires with socially acceptable norms is a challenge for any teenager – but moreso for youth with Aperger's Syndrome.

Asperger Syndrome is considered one of the "high functioning" Autism Spectrum Disorders. A child with Asperger Syndrome may have excellent language, analytical, and other educational skills. At the same time, he may have a harder time understanding social mores, metaphors, and abstract thinking. Children or teens with Asperger Syndrome will not be as adept as their peers at understanding body language and subtler cues that let people know what is and is not appropriate socio-sexual behavior. This can lead to many inappropriate behaviors, including

• Public exposure of sexual organs
• Inappropriate touching of self or others
• Staring at sexual characteristics of other people.
• Talking about sexual subjects around those not comfortable with it.

None of these behaviors are done in an attention-getting or transgressive way. A teenager with Asperger simply may not know that the situation he is in is one where that behavior is not appropriate. Unfortunately, adolescents are rarely understanding of this, and as a result will subject the child to taunting, teasing, and social rejection. As Asperger Syndrome already causes social difficulties, the addition of sexual frustration and embarrassment makes this an especially hard time for these youth.

It can also be very difficult for parents to deal with, especially if the school staff and people around do not understand that the behavior is related to ASD, not due to any failure of parenting.

The good news is that the strategies for dealing with this type of situation are actually the same as dealing with any child. The first step is to acknowledge that sexuality is a subject that needs to be addressed just as any other social behavior. Addressing the issue in a frank, direct, and open way will go a long way in letting the child know that he is not being attacked or judged. It will also establish a safe environment for him to bring up questions and subjects in the future.

In order to create this "safe space," it is necessary for all parties to be removed from the incident, both physically and emotionally. Bringing an incident up in discussion right after it has happened is probably not the best strategy – but neither is ignoring it and hoping it will go away. People with Asperger Syndrome respond well to concrete events, so setting up a specific time to talk about things might be a good strategy.

The main goal is to make sure the child knows that sexual feelings and changes are not a bad thing, and that their behavior needs to be modified for the same reason they are taught not to hit in anger or to say "please" and "thank you" – because that is socially appropriate. Professional therapists may also be able to assist with evaluating a child's sexuality and establishing a personalized sex ed curriculum and/or behavior modification techniques. As with many aspects of ASD, sexual behavior and Asperger Syndrome simply has the goal of enabling the child to grow into a healthy and happy adult.

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